Showing posts with label Steve Jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Steve Jobs. Show all posts

Friday, September 10, 2010

Steve Jobs won't sell me an iPhone but I still think he's sexy

An Apple Store a day keeps the iPhone away.  I keep going to the Apple Store to get an iPhone 4, my one true love.  Alas, we are separated by hype.  The devastation!  I'm not going to pull a Juliet but keeping me from the iPhone 4 because of our class differences (if I buy the phone outright it will be pretty much $800, which to me is $1 million), drives that dagger a little bit closer to my heart.  Everytime I go at 4 pm to the Apple Store so that I can stand around like a schmuck only to have a Blue Shirt tell me to line up tomorrow at 7 am for the 9 am opening, I die a little inside.  But Steve Jobs is still hot.

This is Steve Jobs' fault.  Everytime he does a Keynote presentation in his uniform of black sweater and jeans, his "goin' to Starbucks in my Mercedes with mocassin slippers on" uniform, I melt a little inside.  If he wasn't so hot in a creepy logical-beatnick kind of way, I wouldn't want his phone.  I bet he reads beat-poetry with a beret on, in binary code to the beat of a metronome -- which is hot, by the way.  It's not only that, it's his sexy user-interface.  An infant can appreciate Apple's UI.  I think that might be my child's first words: "U-I."  But U and I are not meant to be together. 

I am such a good Apple customer, PLEASE, Steve Jobs, quit building hype.  Quit being so good at marketing.  Separate yourself from your brand so that people don't love Apple so much; so that I can be with my one true love! For $269.